Decks!! (May 2007)

Gosh!! Nothing seems to move here without Decks (Power Point presentations for the uninitiated).

Ever since I got here, I'm up to my neck and down to my butt in decks.

No one but no one listens or talks or does anything unless you've run them thru' a deck.

Well, actually, things weren't very different in the Army either. Ever since Mr. Gates got MS Office to rule the working world, even soldiers (at least the top brass) took a shine to PPTs (they weren't called Decks there).

But the saving grace was that there were still some old fogeys that didn't like PPTs.

I remember a Divisional Commander I once served under calling over a colleague of mine to discuss something.

Now, this colleague was from the Signals (the Communications branch) and was a hi-tech kind of guy having got an MTech from the IIT and such stuff.

So, Colonel saab (my colleague) creates a fancy PPT/deck and goes off to meet the General, lap top under his arm.

"May I come in, Sir" is the opening dialogue.

"Yup", is the opening response.

So far so good….. all very positive and all.

"Sir, I was asked to come across and brief you on the Electronic Warfare plan for the forthcoming exercise."

"Hmmm yeah….sure go ahead", says General saab.

My friend popped open his lap top lid to commence operations.

"What the f*** is that???" enquired the General.

"Err...Sir this is a lap top computer".

"I know that, you moron. Just because I'm from the Infantry doesn't mean I'm dumb" growls the big man.

My colleague was more than a little nonplussed. But he bashed on regardless.

"Sir, I meant, err, my presentation is on this machine", he said, to clear up the air.

Well, he failed to clear up anything.

"Is that so?? In that case, why are you here? You could have sent the machine in by itself."

"Errrr…ummm…Sir, it's in the form of a presentation and I thought I'll take you thru' it."

"Am I a moron? That I need to be taken thru' stuff by you, you pip squeak? Shut that darn thing and tell me about the Electronic Warfare plan"

Well the lap top lid went shut stayed shut .and so did my colleague because without his trusty PPT, he was hopelessly lost.

So that was life, folks…PPTs were important there but at times you were better off without them.

But here? No f****** way!!! No deck means no nothing.

So as I settle down in this new world, one of my serious KRAs is to learn how to create those fancy corporate decks. Otherwise, I'm dead!!

Because after all, I'm convinced that power corrupts and Power Point corrupts absolutely.