VIP Visits

We recently had some top honcho from the Co. HQ in the US visiting us here. I thought VIP or VVIP or VVVIP visits on civvy street would be very different from those in the Army .'cos there everyone went totally overboard ' from reception to food to itinerary to briefings to decor to accomodation to everything else.

Well, out here it wasn't very different. The only big difference I saw was that since the guy in question was staying at the Leela, no one went to check if the 'flush' was working .. something which was a very, very, very imperative ingredient of an Army VIP visit check list.

But yes, what he'll eat, when he'll eat and how he'll eat was as big an issue here as it used to be there.

Which reminds me of the time we got a new Divisional Commander (GOC) some years ago. The guy was a surdee boy from the Gorkhas who had coincided his promotion with his entry into the 'sau choohe kha kar billi Haj ko chali' club. For those of you who can't figure that out .he had turned vegetarian and a tee totaller to boot, at the ripe age of 50 . the time when he should have been taking his eating and drinking to the next level instead of making a retrograde move.

Anyways, since he had just transformed his dietary habits, there wasn't much info available prior to his arrival on his food habits. All we got was..he loves tandoori chicken, chicken tikka, tangdi kebab, butter chicken or rather used to love. What was in vogue was vague.

So, our very upwardly mobile Deputy GOC decided to take matters into his own hands and settled down to himself make the menu for the first visit by the General saab.

Not too sure what veggies like, he decided to play safe by plastering the menu, top to bottom, with bananas, apples, pineapples, plums, peaches and so on. sliced, diced, canned, fresh, any and every which way.

The day of reckoning arrived .and so did General Sardarji. Salutes, handshakes, introductions and into the Ops Room for his first briefing.

The briefing began as so did the feeding of the General. Platter after platter, bowl after bowl of fruits kept coming in more or less keeping time with the power point slide show. Introduction ' bananas; Brief History of the Division- apples; Op Role ' peaches; Terrain ' mosambi juice; Enemy Deployment ' mangoes ; and so on.

Finally it all ended .. the briefing as well as the feeding.

The Deputy GOC looked rather pleased with himself and with both aspects of the visit the talk by him and the eat by the General.

Very hopeful now of getting his second star in the near future, he thought he'd seal it by asking the General what he thought about the whole jamboree.

"Sir, your thoughts or views on the briefing?" he politely enquired.

The General saab thought awhile, shook his head, adjusted his turban, swished away some lint from his shirt, did some bayonet practice with a toothpick . and then took a deep breath..and replied.

His reply?

"Most fruitful!! Thank you!!!"